Challenges

My personal life has been a little crazy so I haven't been able to keep up with my blog the way I would like to..so sorry for those who are following me...I usually don't like to divulge into my private life but since it has to do with being on the other side of being an NP I am allowing myself this one time to do so....My parents are in their 80's and have been in good health up until a couple of years ago...my Dad was the first to have medical problems...he was diagnosed with CML a few years ago but is in remission now...However, he has other medical problems that have been making his good days of feeling well fewer and fewer...He has an array of heart, lung and renal problems..His has more days of not breathing well than good days...he can't even help my Mom with light housekeeping chores without fatiguing and getting dyspnic.....he has been to more specialist than I can count on my 2 hands and they come up with the same conclusions...Multi factorial causes to his declining quality of life...My Mom has been the rock for him during this time...making sure he takes he medications;getting him to the doctors; and providing love and emotional support....today my Mother ended up in the ER with TIA....I went to visit her at the hospital tonight and she is devastated that she can't be there for my Father and take care of him....she is his rock...with tears in my eyes I told her it will be ok..that is why you have us ...as much as my parents don't want to be a burden and face the reality that the day is here..they need us to help them...it breaks my heart I see this everyday as a Nurse Practitioner caring for my patients...families that are faced with the challenges of elder parents and providing for their elders...I am there I am one of them ...I am wearing the other shoe..I am on the other side of the fence...I am in a fog right now to tell you how I am feeling..reality hasn't set in quite yet..but I know from experience it is creeping up on me...As I sat in the hospital room listening to my Mom telling me how she is so concern for my Dad...I told my self this is my time to be the rock for my parents.....they deserve it...they have given me a good life and lots of love in their own way..right now I just want to be a daughter and not a health care provider....