Nurse Practitioner Web Log: BFF's

Nurse Practitioner Web Log: BFF's

BFF's

well my best friend has ended her battle with a progressive neurologic disease that had left her paralyzed and dependent on bipap. She has left a great void in my life, but at the same time she allowed me to take part in her last few hours. After 17 years of friendship, I watched my friend go from a healthy and active 52 year old Nurse Practitioner, mother, wife,vegan and avid runner to a person who is dependent on everyone to live minute to minute. Her disease started almost a years ago with a limp. Got better. And then with each remission came back with vengence. This last remission left he a flaccid quadraplegic and dependent on bipap for breathing. She could never to continue like this. Despite 2nd and 3rd opinions and best the teaching hospital, she took things into her own matters and demanded to come home and be placed on hospice. She was very percise on how and when she wanted to have her life ended peacefully. She knew what she wanted to wear, what pictures she wanted to have around her and even the music playing in the background...even her water bottle by her side...The last 18 hours I spent by her side and we smiled, talked, joked and laughed...then was the time she had asked me to dress her in her running gear and then say good bye...She was the best friend I ever had...We had similar likes and dislikes. We also saw some things eye to eye and some not..but respected each other for who we were...we shared good times and bad times ..we cried and laughed together throughout the years...you are going to be greatly missed. but I thank you for letting me see you through the end...You were a co worker, preceptor and confidant ...you are my hero

In Memory of Deb Rodzwick Carlis CRNP

Hard Times

I have had some really emotional times in the past couple of weeks..both at work and on the personal front...At work, my co worker has changed 3 times since October...my first co worker, who I wasn't sad to see move on, is now back again..can I tell you I really didn't miss her over the past few month...when she left I worked with 2 other PA's both men...let me tell you ...they did their work and let me a lone and left when the work was completed...they didn't want to talk much ...which was fine by me...this gal is opinionated;critical; talks too much and is driving me nuts... I am really finding it hard to get re acclamated to her again...I have to learn all over again how to ignore her...any tips...all are welcomed
On the personal front...I know I have mentioned my friend with transverse myelitis...well she had been in and out and back in the hospital again...all the mobility and sensation she has gained is gone 100 fold....she was first admitted with hypothermia, hyponatremia, hypotension and bradycardia...she ended up with SIADH...now as a pacer...was discharged and not even home a week and back in with hypernatremia...and now she is completely paralyzed (quad) with dysphagia, inability to speak and respiratory decompensation...what the hell is going on .....why can't anyone help her...she is now going to need a feeding tube because she can't swallow...anyone out there have any thoughts...from what I know her neurologist is going to try some type of chemo(cytoxin?) agent to boost her immune system however one of the side effects is leukopenia which she already has...I feel so helpless...know all that I know and I can't even help her...I think of her day and night...I wake up and she is my first thought...if anyone has experience with any patient that has had similar symptoms...please email me....would love to hear how it all worked out for them...in the meantime...prayers...