Growing Pains...journey of a career path

I am writing this blog before I title it so hopeful once I am finished I can come up with a suitable title...I am having a writer's block on what to write anymore...this is bad news since I have only had this blog for a couple years...So I was doing some deep soul searching this morning on what I can write about...actually I was in church while I was doing this...call this my morning meditation....as I was thinking an looking around at the people surrounded me I got this overwhelming felling I have really grown into myself...I am saying this not only personnally, spiritually and also professionally....Personally I look who I have become....not the same person I would have pictured in my early 20's ...at that point all I wanted to do was be a med surg nurse, marry young and have a family...not that I didn't do that ...but I took some detours on the way...I did become a nurse(working part time), I did marry...and I did have a family...the glitch and first detour was when I was 25....the happy ever life as I knew it ended...horrified when my husband told me that he didn't want to be married anymore...and leaving me with a brand new house and an 18month old daughter...I had no idea what I was going to do...needless to say...the part time nurse idea was out the door...I had to work full time to support myself and my daughter...hopes of living in the brand new house was also out the door and I was back living in an apartment...my self esteem hit rock bottom...It took several years to pick my ego out of the basement and wipe myself off and realize it was all up to me of how the rest of my life was going to pan out...this is when I did my double challenge take on a new job as a nurse educator and go to school part time for my Masters in Nursing...still a single Mom this was a challenge. By the grace of God and the help of my parents and 5 years later I had a MSN next to my last name and to add to my credentials...during this time I met my best friend and husband...He has proven to be a rock to me ...He made my family true family and we married in 1992...I continued to work in the hospital setting as a nurse educator...but something still didn't seem right to me...I was bored...can you imagine...bored with a family and full time job...plus hospitals were re organizing and the nurse educators were the first on the chopping block...so that is when I decided to go back to school again for my NP and post masters...2 1/2 years of working full time and keeping a house and family I succeded...jobs were not plentiful or were well known at this time for NP's I literally sent out letters with my CV to all the family doctors in the area...I got that one bite and I was on my way to my current career...granted it wasn't all sweet and nice in the beginning...I actually worked a full time job as a Disease Manager in a hospital and part time in the evenings as an NP for the first 6 months...then another family practice approached me to work in their office...so I was able to quit the hospital job and work the two family practices at the same time for a full time job....the first year I worked 60 hour weeks..ugh..and the pay was lousy...after a year I quit the first job I landed and worked the second job ...was lucky to add hours to this job to make it a full time job....During my first 2years as an NP I had a lot of growing pains....fears of not knowing a lot and of possilbly making an error...I wouldn't sleep at night...was constantly reading and looking things up ...I would wake up in the night and think about a case I had during the day doubting myself...it was awful...plus office practice was not the end all and be all for me...the pay was lousy and benfits were nothing...and the docs just didn't get us...that is when I started looking for something different and even 2nd guessing if I made the right choice to be an NP....that is when I ran into a fellow NP collegue at a conference who introduced me to her boss...they were looking for a new NP at the nearby VA....I got an interview the next week and the rest is history...almost 11 years I have been there...they do get it..and I am very happy there...I can honestly say.. I don't feel bored ...I learn something everyday...the docs I work with get me and me them...and I love the patients...working for the VA gives me a sense of security with my practice and with my ohm....I doubt I will ever return to the private sector...the VA has come a long way...it works very hard to provide quality care...it is built in to every providers work day...we are constantly provided tools to provide this for our vets...I can honestly say that I am where I want to be now...I wouldn't even know where else to go nor do I have a desire to go...I do get up everyday and dread getting up only because I can't sleep in but I do look forward to going to work...it is always a new adventure and a great opportunity to help those who otherwise would not be able to get good health care in the private sectore...plus it is my way to give back to those who gave to our country...so now that I wrote this what should I call it?